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Mr. Poopybutthole v2.0 FREE crochet pattern

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The original pattern is here . It's fine, but it was one of my older patterns and it was long overdue for a re-write for clarity, etc. etc. You can get a nice PDF version of this pattern with a lot of extra photos for help with assembly (and also support monetarily me so I can keep making patterns for you people) by clicking here (also consider becoming one of my Ko-Fi members???).  Now let's get down to business because this isn't a recipe blog and I don't feel like writing an essay today. Oooh weeee! This is your long-time family friend, Mr. Poopybutthole! This is an easy pattern, good for beginners who want to make something with some more parts/color changes. Also, fast if you need an emergency long-time family friend! As usual, feel free to share your cool creations on my Facebook page ! Materials and Supplies ·          Yarn (worsted or whatever weight you want) in yellow, black, cyan/light blue, brown, and white ·   ...

Ko-Fi Memberships

I'm going to be ending my Ko-Fi memberships at the end of this year unless something incredible happens, and I get way more than nine subscribers before December. After almost three years I haven't ever gotten into the double-digits. Not even once. I have no idea how to promote this because these posts get buried on every platform I've tried to share them on since I started. I'm tired and I give up. The amount of time and effort that goes into making these charts, the nice PDF patterns, and writing the posts is not worth the $28 I make per month. This isn't enough to count as a side hustle. It's just pathetic and I could spend that time doing other things that either: a) make more money or b) that I actually enjoy because this has turned into a monthly chore since I haven't been able to get people to sign up. I'm over here making patterns for the void. I'll keep it going if anyone really wants me to. And not to be Cunticia about it, but don't tel...

It costs that much 'cause it takes me f*cking hours.

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 Behold, the theme song of this post: This is kind of a serious post. Kind of.  I want to chat a bit about my Phoenix Wright hats and answer some questions/address some concerns I've gotten. I started making these hats back in the early days of my Etsy shop (2012-ish). The first version was double-knit and took me about 20 hours to make - this was terrible, obviously. I sold them for a laughable price that I won't even mention because I'm so embarrassed. Closing sales was more important to me than actually making a profit. I have been tweaking this design since then. I soon realized I needed to make a more efficient version, so I reworked the pattern and started making a double-thick version with *duplicate stitch. *Duplicate stitch is a type of embroidery that mimics the V-shape of knit stitches, which is worked over the knit stitches. It is very tedious, but the end results are very nice. It maintains the stretchiness of the piece and is particularly good for when the des...

FREE Magician Teensy (from Rayman) Crochet Pattern

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  A decade ago (literally 2014), I made a little version of the Magician Teensy from Rayman Legends , and I made a totally useless blog post with very lazy instructions. It might be one of my most unhinged blog posts from the ye olde days, and you can see it right here if you want some lols. For years I've been wanting to remake this and make an actual pattern. After a great struggle, I finally did it.  This version is larger (because I hate working small because I can't see anymore), and it's not in slip stitch (because wtf why did I make this entire thing in slip stitch anyway). You can absolutely use this pattern as a base for other Teensies or even Rayman if you're smort. You can snag a PDF, ad-free version of the pattern here (which is also free of all these extra rambling words). The paid version includes a lot of additional images not included in this post, for some bonus help with assembly should you need it.  Now, hear me out, I know the Magician I made that...