It costs that much 'cause it takes me f*cking hours.
Behold, the theme song of this post:
This is kind of a serious post. Kind of.
I want to chat a bit about my Phoenix Wright hats and answer some questions/address some concerns I've gotten.
I started making these hats back in the early days of my Etsy shop (2012-ish). The first version was double-knit and took me about 20 hours to make - this was terrible, obviously. I sold them for a laughable price that I won't even mention because I'm so embarrassed. Closing sales was more important to me than actually making a profit. I have been tweaking this design since then.
I soon realized I needed to make a more efficient version, so I reworked the pattern and started making a double-thick version with *duplicate stitch.
*Duplicate stitch is a type of embroidery that mimics the V-shape of knit stitches, which is worked over the knit stitches. It is very tedious, but the end results are very nice. It maintains the stretchiness of the piece and is particularly good for when the design doesn't repeat around a hat, for example.
The hand-knit with duplicate stitch version ran me about 12-13 hours. Still too long to be cost-effective. I value my time. After working in high-stress, low-paying jobs, I value my time. I am not sorry about this. I want to make high-quality items that make people happy, but I also value my time. I have other hobbies and I have other things to do. I am a person. I am one person who makes these hats from start to finish. I do not have employees or staff. I do have someone else who makes the buttons because I don't have a button press and I don't want to get one just to make this one type of button. They make high-quality buttons and sell them to me a bit cheaper because I buy a lot.
My time is the bulk of what you are paying for when you buy something from me.
And then I got a flat knitting machine.
Let me tell you about flat knitting machines. First, they are terrible. Even the best ones will drop stitches, jam, and generally shit the bed at the most inconvenient times. Sometimes it's so bad, you have to scrap whatever you were making. Sometimes it can be salvaged, but salvaging can take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, depending on how bad it shit the bed. When it takes an hour, it isn't worth it and you're better off scrapping and starting again, imho.
The one I have is a $400+ machine. It is completely manual. There is no electricity, no computer anything. It is worked by me with my arms. Assuming it does not shit the bed, I can make a base hat in about an hour including the set-up, which happens each time, and the cast off.
So, I began making the hats with the machine, and duplicate stitching the lettering. These hats run about 6-7 hours total, but I've designed a version that is extremely accurate to the hat seen in Ace Attorney. See below:
This hat has ribbing and I tried to scale the lettering accordingly. I've been making these hats this way for several years now and they are the ones I currently stock.
Now, because I have been to cons before, and in full-crochet in 100-degree heat, I know it's important to have some breathability, so I made a "light-weight" version of the above hat. The pattern is exactly the same, so they take 6-7 hours, but the yarn I use is a bit thinner, resulting in a looser knit, which I hope is a little less hot. This yarn COSTS MORE, which is why the light-weight hats COST MORE. Ok? Ok.
The price of the yarn I use for BOTH hats keeps steadily going up, so I've had to increase the cost of the hats to keep up so that I DO NOT LOSE MONEY. The price of the hats is based (mostly) on MY TIME but also MATERIALS and then ETSY FEES. Etsy's fees are chilling at about 15%, so I mark-up everything on Etsy to compensate for this so I DO NOT LOSE MONEY. Does this make sense?
See the standard version and the light-weight side-by-side below. The light-weight version has the ribbing but it isn't as prominently visible because of the looser knit. You can see the ribbing better when the hat stretches on larger heads. My foam heads are "average woman" heads, whatever that means.
I like to make people happy. I like to make things for people. I really, genuinely do. What I do not like is people who want one of my items, and instead of saving their money to buy one, they complain about the price. I can't afford a Maserati, but I'm not going to go to the dealership and tell them to lower their price for me because I really want one and can't afford it.
That. Is. Not. How. The. World. Works.
I am not Maserati. I am not some famous designer either. This hat is intellectual property that does not even belong to me! I could get a cease and desist order at any moment and have to stop selling them! I don't want these hats to be my entire business model or what I'm known for. I don't want them to be my whole personality. Nor should these hats be any of those things. While I have worked very hard to design them to be accurate to the game, this hat does not belong to me. Now, if I WERE some famous designer, you bet your ass these hats would cost EVEN MORE, so don't even go there.
That being said, I made a new pattern for a new version of this hat. I make the base hat on a circular knitting machine, which takes 20-30 minutes, and circular machines are less likely to shit the bed. I also simplified the lettering, so that it only takes about an hour instead of 5 to do the duplicate stitch. The hat doesn't have ribbing. This hat version will be dramatically cheaper, but what you will be getting is not as accurate of a replica as I, personally, like. The hats are fine. They're not going to fall apart or anything, but they are not as accurate as I like. I pride myself on my accuracy, especially when it comes to cosplay accessories. These hats are still made with the more expensive yarn (because my circular knitting machine will accept nothing else).
See all three hats from left to right here:
I DO NOT love how distorted the lettering gets when the hat is stretched. These "budget" hats will NOT work for larger heads because the lettering will look awful. Sorry, if you have a big head, you will need to buy one of the more expensive hats.
The more expensive hats are better because they take longer. They are more detailed and more accurate to the game, and for that reason they take longer. I cannot make a more accurate hat any faster.
If you buy a budget hat, you will be getting a hat that is clearly cheaper. It is cheaper because it took less time. To make it take less time, I had to make it less detailed and thus less accurate.
You. Get. What. You. Pay. For.
We are living in a late-stage capitalist hellscape dystopia. People will pay $90 for a mass produced drink cup without batting an eye, but they'll go after an individual person who is taking the time to hand-make detailed, super-accurate cosplay hats and demand they be cheaper.
Get a grip.
AND YET I am doing my best to cater to these demands. Not by making my awesome hats cheaper, but by making a shittier version. Because, again, I value my time. If you don't value my time, then don't pay for a hat that is priced based on my time. If someone is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to buy a hat from me that you don't want to pay for, then please contact the authorities and not me because my prices will not be changing unless the cost of materials changes because the amount of time it takes me to make this shit is not going to change. I make everything as fast as I can. I'm not over here making hats slowly to make more money. Believe me, I don't want to spend hundreds of hours making the exact same hat over and over. I'm about to die from ennui as it is. I get a headache when I look at these yarn colors.
Anyway, it costs that much because it takes me fucking hours.
If this post seemed salty then good because I am.
The vast majority of people have been incredibly appreciative and grateful, but the minority seem to be very good at being particularly obnoxious. If you're someone from that majority then I thank you and I also appreciate you.
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